I hate feeling depressed again.
My grandpa passed away and then my baby daddy passed not even a month later. I cant go to school this semester. I have no job. Im not allowed to use the car, or go out with friends. When I try, I get called to come back home two hours later.
Everything sucks. I feel like my life is pointless. I just sit on the couch. My doctor is making me go see a grief counselor, but I honestly dont see how that will help me when every aspect of my life is fucked up.
I really feel like I need someone to latch myself on to. Like I need someone to hold me and listen to me bitch and have fun with to get my mind off of everything. But I dont have that either.
Okay, so Damien was sick about a week ago and I let him sleep in bed with me. Since then, he refuses to sleep in his crib.. He’s never slept/wanted to sleep with me since he was born, and I’m not gonna go into the reasons why I don’t approve of co-sleeping because I don’t feel like hearing a bunch of people just try to argue with me, but I really want him to go back to sleeping in his own room.
I’ve tried to let him fuss, but he will not stop crying to the point where he’s sweaty and choking. I don’t believe in the “cry it out” method when it gets to that extent. I have a twin sized bed, sleeping with him literally kills my back, and having no time in the day (and now, no time at night) has been making me fall behind with my work for college.
Tonight, he wouldn’t sleep again, so I put him in the bed in his room and laid with him until he fell asleep, then I snuck out. It’s his first night sleeping in a bed alone instead of a crib. But does anyone have any advice on how to get him to revert to going to sleep without me again? And also, how to get him to stay in a bed/toddler bed at bedtime instead of just getting out whenever he wants? I really need some tips, him wanting me to sleep with him is not good for either of us :[
How have all my tumblr friends been!?
I miss taking the photo challenges on here and stuff. But the app for my phone won’t tag things and rarely lets me upload photos, so I haven’t been getting on here.
I’m great, damien had an awesome birthday. He’s got a little head cold now :(
Things with me and the boyfriend are very nice <3
I’m still slowly losing (or atleast not gaining any extra) weight. The only thing going wrong is my grandpa.. His cancer is stage 4 now and the doctors say he has 6 months left..
College is alright, I guess.
After like 2 or 3 weeks, the bookstore finally gave me the right books T_T All of my classes are easy enough, except for my business class. I don’t understand any of the boring shit she says.
I cant wait for damien’s birthday :) I’m bummed out that I have two classes that day.. Id rather spend the whole day with him. My big boy is gonna be two years old soon!!
And then the only other aspect of my life, the guy I’m dating. Really starting to irk me that we see each other like once every two weeks. That shit isn’t gonna work for me, so if we don’t work out, I’ll be back at square one with nobody to be interested in. blah.